March of the Witch Hunters
by pratty-prongs-princesse
Summary: Lily Evans' disappearance was all over the Daily Prophet three years ago; afterall, she was the fiancee of James Potter. How will James and the wizarding community react when they find out that she's not only alive...but a death eater?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**__: You know the drill, people! I don't own Harry Potter or the characters, setting, plot, etc, which of course is owned by the brilliant J.K. Rowling. However, the word sequencing is mine, so please, no plagiarism:)_

* * *

Chapter 1: Wicked Through and Through

Wickedness must be punished—that seems to be the Ministry of Magic's new mantra, headlining every newspaper and billboard from Diagon Alley to Hogsmeade. There doesn't exist a healthy medium of wickedness and goodness, or so many think. Those who are wicked are labeled greedy and selfish, serving only themselves; but what is love without greed? Are we not all wicked, then? They say love is unselfish and kind, but that isn't always the case. To understand wickedness you must understand human nature and motivation. Is wickedness the product of power, or unconditional love? If someone you loved was about to be hurt, perhaps taken away from you, would you not save them? What if it required a wicked act? Would you watch them die?

Seeing them dead would hurt you. It is our nature to save ourselves from hurt, and saving them would not only prevent their hurt, but our own. Is it selfish of us to want to prevent ourselves from hurt? It is human nature, not wickedness.

And yet, I was labeled wicked. Why? I didn't want to see my family dead. Why? I loved them unconditionally. Now, I have sacrificed a promising life to save them, and the Ministry has labeled me wicked.

We must all be borderline wicked, then.

Is that the answer? That I am wicked?

…so be it.

-_Lily Evans _

* * *

It was nearing dawn; the sky was a dark purple and the clouds blocked out the scowling heavens. The air smelled musty, like burnt pine, and easily traversed the shadowed landscape of the wheat field in the bewailing wind.

Five cloaked figures congregated in an area of the field where the wheat didn't grow very tall— it was more or less a patch of ground. They huddled together in a circle, crouching in the dirt, seemingly waiting for someone to arrive.

"This is _bullshit_; Yaxley has made us wait over an hour." Bellatrix Lestrange spat ruefully, setting a leaf on fire with her wand and warming her hands, "I say we leave, _now_."

"And if he shows up? I doubt the Dark Lord would be impressed with you then, Bellatrix." Snape calmly replied, his sunken eyes focused closely on the young death eater shivering beside him.

"What if he's been intercepted by an Auror?" Rockwood questioned gruffly, glowering at the ground, "We'll be foolishly waiting around all night."

"I invite you and Black to leave, even _you_, Dolohov, but Evans and I are staying." Snape snidely remarked, turning his attention back to Bellatrix, "Do as you wish."

"So you and Evans can take the glory while we get punished? I think not." Bellatrix hissed, miserably lighting a cigarette and taking a dry puff.

"My point exactly." Snape remarked dryly, his annoyance evident.

"What do you think we should do, _mudblood_?" Bellatrix Black mockingly asked, a malicious smile on her handsome, barely visible face, "Perhaps we should have some _fun_ with you while we wait?"

"I think we should dislodge the pole you have up your _ass_, Black." Lily Evans stiffly replied, pulling back her hood and glaring at Bellatrix with vivacious emerald eyes, "Anything that will make you _shut the hell up_."

"_Why you little_—!"

"Quiet!" Snape hissed at the two death eaters, putting up his hand to silence them, "I hear approaching footsteps."

The group of five death eaters paused, indeed hearing the pitter patter of footsteps on the northern side of the field. Lily grasped her jittering sides, desperate for warmth as her nerves began to act up again.

"It's Yaxley." Snape affirmed, having stood up and peered over the long grass, "Go and meet him midway, Dolohov."

"Why don't we make _Evans_ go?" Bellatrix began to protest.

"You will abide by _my_ orders, Black." Snape spat coldly, eyeing the defiant woman, "The Dark Lord has put me in charge, would you dare disobey him?"

"I'll never know why he trusts _you_." Bellatrix silently snapped back, relenting to orders and extinguishing her simmering cigarette on the ground.

It wasn't often that Lily went on missions with Snape—probably because he was one of the Dark Lord's most prized death eaters, next to Lucius Malfoy—but she always felt safest with him. He often remained in the shadows, calculating plots or brewing secret potions for Voldermort. Severus Snape was a death eater, and despite being one, Lily _hated_ death eaters; however, she did not hate Snape. She often thought she wouldn't have survived the ordeal of becoming a death eater without him. Though Lily had not been friends with Snape in Hogwarts, partially due to her romance with the one man he despised most, Snape looked out for her, always giving her the least dangerous task and guiding her.

Lily knew without Snape she would be dead.

Dolohov slowly edged his way toward Yaxley, who looked somewhat disoriented, staying very close to the ground. The woods seemed oddly quiet, but Dolohov didn't notice. Snape, Bellatrix, Rockwood and Lily remained hidden in the tall wheat, trembling and waiting.

"Yaxley? What took you so—?"

"IMMOBULUS!" Gideon Prewett shouted, popping out from the field and making Dolohov go rigid and fall to the ground, motionless, "_Gotcha_, little bugger!"

Lily and the other death eaters swore loudly when they saw Gideon's brother, Fabian, easily took down Yaxley—who had been imperiused by another colleague—and many other Aurors begin to filter out of the forest onto the field.

"LOOK FOR OTHERS!" Caradoc Dearborn yelled out to the other Aurors in the distance, all of whom began to scavenge the landscape, "SCAN THE FIELD!"

"_Aurors!_" Rockwood hissed to the others, all of their faces looking panicked as they ceased making noise and crouched low to the ground.

"I can't apparate!" Bellatrix whispered, noticing the others scrunching up their noses in concentration, trying to apparate, "It's a calculated ambush!"

"We've got to get to the end of the forest; that's where the apparating charm will end." Snape whispered, looking around for confirmation, "Split up and get back to headquarters—"

"THEY'RE OVER HERE! _INCARCEROUS_!" Remus Lupin yelled, the spell flying over Snape's head and setting the grass behind him aflame inside of binding him in rope.

Lily's blood ran cold; she hadn't seen him in over _three_ years.

"INPEDIMENTA!" Snape countered, sending Remus flying backwards and signaling the death eaters to put on their masks, "Scatter, _quickly_!"

Bellatrix and Rockwood immediately headed in opposite directions, dodging curses, and once they were out of sight, Snape grabbed Lily's forearm and pulled her up.

"If I fall behind, get back to headquarters." Snape breathed quickly, his eyes looking frenzied, "Ready?"

"I can't do this!" Lily whispered, looking empty and close to sobbing, "Snape, I saw _Remus_—"

"_Don't be a fool_." Snape cut in harshly, trying to remain strong and preoccupy her mind, "You'll be killed. Now, run as fast as you can into the forest; I'll cover you for as long as I can."

"I can't—"

"_YOU CAN!_" Snape hissed, looking furious, "_Go!_"

Lily recoiled, pulled her hood up, and appeared out of the tall grass, signaling Aurors of her presence and spawning a fury of blue and red curses to barrel her way. Lily ran towards the forest, ducking ever so often to avoid being hit by hexes—though she knew Snape was shielding a good portion of the attacks himself—and encountered no Aurors along the way.

That is, until she reached the edge of the forest.

Lily's heart palpitated irregularly as she realized she was being chased by two Aurors, one male and another female. Her wand hand was getting sweaty, having to clutch the willowy wood betwixt her fingers, and she began to run short of breath.

The forest was pitch black and thick with trees that grew too closely together. Lily nearly tripped numerous times, getting caught in branches and tree roots. There were cuts along her cheeks where she had blindly ran through patches of hanging thorns and the material on her left shoulder was ripped, the flesh bleeding. Sweat trailed down her forehead as she pressed forward, gulping for air and feeling close to throwing up.

_I've got to escape; I can't let her see me like this! I can't go back now._

Lily had looked over her shoulder and recognized the female witch: it was Marlene McKinnon, one of her old best friends from Hogwarts. She silently prayed Marlene did not catch her; Lily preferred everyone think her dead than know she was a death eater.

She'd been paying so much attention to the Aurors behind her she didn't realize she had been slowing down, closing the gap between the three of them. Marlene came upon Lily, taking a fist full of her cloak and dragging her down to the ground with her. Marlene positioned herself on top of Lily, struggling to work the wand out of Lily's hand and the mask off her face.

She had done it. The mask was off.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Lily screamed wrathfully, jabbed her wand into Marlene's stomach before she could get a good look at her face. Marlene's eyes widened in shock as she was thrown roughly into a tree, falling unconscious onto the ground before Lily.

Tears stung Lily's eyes as she staggered to her feet, her mask and black cloak gone. In plain clothes and with a bleeding shoulder and elbows, Lily tore off into the forest again, hoping the male Auror would stop to aid Marlene and give her ample time to escape.

The ground began to slope downwards and was slick with mud as Lily continued toward the other side of the forest. It was quiet and stagnant, the only noise being her labored breathing and silent whimpers. She was lost, running around in circles trying to find her way out—but it was impossible.

"_STOP AND SURRENDER!_"

Lily choked out a sob, her heart racing fearfully as she heard a male voice receding in the distance. She felt helpless, being tired and half covered in mud, but she continued down the slope, her limbs aching for oxygen.

He was getting closer; she could practically feel his breath on the back of her neck.

Lily felt the Auror's hand grab her arm and instinctively jerked forward, attempting to escape, but instead fell to the ground—the Auror still clutching her—tumbling down the muddy hill.

There was no escaping the Auror now.

"Drop your wand!" the Auror on top of Lily demanded, scrambling up from the mud and blindly pointing his wand down at her broken figure, having trouble seeing behind the muddy dark hair that fell in his face, "Do it, _now_."

The sky angrily split down the middle, rain plunging down from the murky clouds. Lily obediently dropped her wand, her eyes firmly shut due to all the mud and water seeping in at the corners. She quaked uncontrollably—not because she was freezing cold, but because of her devastation. She was going to spill her guts any minute, the turmoil upsetting her body and causing her to silently weep while she curled up in a fetal position, eyes closed.

_I've never seen a death eater do __**that**__ before… _

"DO YOU HAVE HER, _JAMES_?" Marlene McKinnon yelled from atop the hill, gradually limping closer to him.

James kneeled closer to the devastated death eater to pick up her wand, catching a small glimpse of emerald green. Beneath the caked mud he realized her hair was a vibrant red, her pallid skin a soft porcelain.

_That's not possible_.

"_Lily?_" James inquired hoarsely, water dripping off the tips of his hair, "Is…is it _you_?"

Lily opened her red-rimmed eyes, looking hollow.

"_James_…_no_, don't look at me." Lily feverishly pleaded, eventually going unconscious.

James picked Lily up in his arms, staring at her as if she were a beautiful ghost. He heard Marlene drawing closer—he _couldn't_ let her find them—and apparated away from the forest, his fiancée drawn close to his chest.

It had taken Marlene a few minutes to make her way down the muddy slide, but the place where James and the captured death eater had once resided was sparse. She stood perplexed and worried in the pouring rain; she hoped events had not taken a turn for the worst.

But they had.

* * *

Author's Notes

_Please review; I would really appreciate it!_

pratty-prongs-princesse


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**__: You know the drill, people! I don't own Harry Potter or the characters, setting, plot, etc, which of course is owned by the brilliant J.K. Rowling. However, the word sequencing is mine, so please, no plagiarism:) _

* * *

Chapter 2- He still counts the minutes

Sometimes I question my decisions. How am I ever to know what I'm doing is right? I didn't want to be the reason he locked himself in his apartment for weeks on end. I didn't want to be the reason my parents divorced, almost a year after my empty casket had been lowered. Do you think I was proud, seeing my picture in the obituaries? The missing posters?

I'm not looking for sympathy from you or anyone else—my actions were necessary.

At least, I think they were.

Do I regret them?

I'm not sure yet.

_-Lily Evans _

* * *

He sat on the edge of the bed, watching her chest rise and fall with each steady breath. The mud had been sponged from her cheeks; the blood stanched on her shoulder. He wondered what had driven her to such madness; what acts she had committed to instill such a fear in her eyes. It was like witnessing the decomposition of a soul—a broken woman reduced to hiding.

He wondered if she had retained any of her old spirit. She could shoot a man down with one look—he had always been a walking target by choice. She used to laugh, smile, stubbornly glare… but now her face was wiped clean of emotion.

It was hard to describe how he was feeling. It was a mixture of guilt, nostalgia, and anger. Remembering what used to be was difficult—it made his stomach churn in upset. It was an unspeakable betrayal that had eaten away at him.

There was one question that had loomed in the back of his mind since he had seen her in the forest.

_Why? _

* * *

Severus Snape apparated into a cold wine cellar, the surrounding bottles dusty and labels disintegrated with age. He took a brief moment to catch his breath—he'd been looking in the forest for hours, trying to find Lily.

Brushing dirt from his cloak, Snape exited the wine cellar and stepped out into a deserted hallway, mouth-eaten tapestries embellishing the walls and rusty suits of armor rigid in their spots. Approaching the throne room, Snape felt his stomach stir —he'd failed the Dark Lord, and he was _not_ the empathetic type.

Snape brusquely pushed open wooden double doors, revealing a gothic inspired, high-ceilinged room with a stone throne and a table with cluttered chairs around it. The Dark Lord patiently awaited his return, a _very_ unusual sight, sitting unceremoniously on the stone throne. At his feet, death eaters whispered amongst themselves, all angrily looking up as he entered. Snape brushed past them without care, staring intensely into the Dark Lord's red eyes as he neared him and bowed.

There came a tomblike silence—unspeakably eerie.

"You have returned unsuccessful and _without_ three of your comrades." Voldermort finally spoke, his voice malicious as he flippantly eyed a black-jeweled ring on his spidery finger, "_Where_ is Evans?"

"I have searched for two hours; she has disappeared." Snape replied calmly, still kneeling, "Dolohov is in Auror custody. Yaxley is dead."

"I do notcare where Dolohov and Yaxley are." Voldermort countered thinly, his handsome looks contorted in an unreadable expression, "Tell me this, Snape. What Aurors were present at this ambush?"

"Not that _he'd_ know." Bellatrix spoke up, lowering her hood to face the Dark Lord, her once beautiful face skeletal in appearance, "Snape was too busy babysitting _Evans_ to see anyone. I, however, fought valiantly, _my_ Lord."

"You will hold your tongue, _Bella_." Voldermort hissed, Bellatrix cowering under his sudden fury, "All of you, get out. _Now_."

The death eaters quickly exited the throne room, including Bellatrix, cloaks billowing behind them as they firmly shut the creaking door. They left Snape alone with Voldermort.

"Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Caradoc Dearborn, Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon, Alastor Moody...and I believe James Potter was there, too." Snape recited seriously, flinching as he announced the last name on his list.

Voldermort momentarily went mute, his malevolent eyes focused on the decrepit chandelier hanging above them. Snape had witnessed a great many things in this room—tortures, the resurrection of Inferi, duels—it wasn't a congenial place to be.

"I expect she is with Potter." Voldermort said, his voice smouldering.

"It... _is_ a possibility, my lord. Evans isn't at the Ministry with Dolohov." Snape added passively, "I assume she would be if any other Auror had captured her."

"_Excellent_," Voldermort hissed, his temper deflating and a smile curving on his lips, "this may work out in _our_ favor."

"You don't think she'll take shelter within the Order?" Snape questioned, keeping the skepticism out of his voice—he'd learned to speak without emotion, like a robot, monotonous and plain.

"No." Voldermort replied confidently, "She'll be back."

"But—?"

"You may go, Severus. I'll summon for you when she returns." Voldermort dismissed sharply, leaning back in his throne, "Speak of this to no one."

Snape nodded his head and promptly glided out of the room, his heart palpitating quickly as he closed the door. It hadn't previously occurred to him that James Potter could've encountered Lily, and he didn't quite understand the Dark Lord's misplaced confidence.

The mere thought of her with _him_ again made his blood boil.

What did the Dark Lord know that he didn't...?

With a **crack**, Severus Snape apparated out of Death Eater Headquarters, ready to take refuge in Spinner's End and premeditate his next move.

* * *

"Everyone gather round, quickly!" Alastor Moody growled, beckoning the Order of the Phoenix members to sit down at the long table in number twelve, Grimmauld Place, "We have important information to discuss..._ah_, Dumbledore!"

An average-sized man with a long sallow beard and half-moon spectacles entered the dining room, wearing magnificent magenta robes and a serene expression.

"Good evening, everyone." Dumbledore said simply, immediately garnering everyone's attention and making them go quiet—he had that affect on people, "As you know, many Order members were given the task of intercepting a small death eater meeting in Canterbury. Alastor and I would like to update you on what has transpired."

"Was it a success?" Hestia Jones piped up, practically out of her chair.

"Relatively," Dumbledore replied, peering at her over his spectacles.

"We currently have Antoine Dolohov incarcerated and awaiting trial, and the death eater, Yaxley, is dead. We believe there were five death eaters waiting in the field for Yaxley, who we had imperiused previous to his appearance there. Unfortunately, the curse wore off Yaxley and he put up a fight. Now he's dead."

"The other four _escaped_?" Kingsley Shacklebolt questioned hesitantly.

"Yes. They made it to the end of the forest and apparated before we were able to catch them. Put up quite a fight." Gideon Prewett commented loudly, entering the room with his brother, Gideon, "Have all the Order members returned yet?"

"That brings me to my next subject. We have an Order member missing." Moody rumbled, faces in the room turning ashen.

"Who is it?" Sirius Black, a handsome looking man with dark eyes and hair asked sternly, almost dreading the answer as he looked about the table and found a particular seat empty.

"Potter," Moody replied, carefully awaiting Sirius' reaction.

"What do you mean, _missing_?" Sirius angrily barked back, jumping out of his chair and narrowing his eyes at Moody.

"Last person that saw him was McKinnon." Moody pointed to Marlene, whose chest was bandaged under her light clothing.

"He was chasing a death eater—I'm sure it was a female. I saw James standing over her, probably ready to take her to the Ministry because he had his wand drawn. Then I turned around for one second, and they were both _gone_!" Marlene cried, clenching her teeth and looking deeply worried.

Sirius scowled at Marlene as if he had a personal quarrel with her.

"Were they at the edge of the forest?" Kingsley asked, shattering the silence.

"Almost, but I didn't try apparating there, so I don't know if that's how he disappeared." Marlene replied miserably, becoming more upset with each question answered.

"Well that was a bloody _idiotic_ move, wasn't it?" Sirius spat, narrowing his eyes.

"I was under pressure, _Sirius_." Marlene cried angrily, "I didn't know what to do!"

"Then perhaps you should work in a less dangerous job, _Marlene_. I head the _Quibbler_ is looking for a part-time _office witch_!" Sirius retorted vindictively, his handsome looks contorted in frustration.

"That's enough," Dumbledore resounded, shutting the two up, though they continued to glare at one another.

"Have you checked the Ministry and St. Mungo's, Marlene?" Edgar Bones added, trying to be helpful.

"Yes, Lupin is at the hospital for an injury to his back, and he hasn't seen James—"

"_This is ridiculous_!" Sirius announced, apprehension evident in his feral voice, "If this death eater was injured, she couldn't have possibly taken James down! He could still be out there!"

"I've pondered over this matter a great deal, and if James does not turn up by tomorrow, we will begin looking for him." Dumbledore said, compassionately looking at Sirius, "We will discuss this matter further in the morning. I implore you all to take great caution and watch for any mysterious activity."

"You're dismissed," Moody grumbled, shooing the frazzled Order members out of the dining room and into the main hall, where Sirius cursed at the portrait of his screeching mother.

After they'd filtered out, Moody turned to Dumbledore, looking cynical.

"Where do you reckon Potter is?" he asked gruffly, withdrawing a silver flask from his shirt pocket and taking a swig.

"I'm sure he'll turn up soon, Alastor." Dumbledore replied simply, throwing a large handful of Floo powder into the dining room fireplace, "Until morning, then."

Dumbledore mysteriously stepped into the green fire, more confident than the rest, and with a splinter of sound, disappeared into the flames.

* * *

"You know," James whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands in a prayer-like fold and his long, dark hair falling over his forehead, "I've always toiled with the concept of fate—if we are in the places we are meant to be in."

He looked down at Lily, his eyes swimming with sadness as he brushed a lock of her red hair off of her sweaty skin. She didn't look a day over eighteen. James was reminded of their Hogwarts days.

Lily stirred sleepily, weakly squinting in the dark room, attempting to focus her eyes on the man speaking softly to her. Almost immediately, James stood up and crossed the room, peaking behind one of the curtains to look out onto the street. They were motionless and bare, a wrought-iron lamppost the only source of illumination.

"_James_?" Lily murmured despairingly, barely conscious as she propped herself up on her elbows, "Is that you?"

"Yes," James replied quietly, his shadowy figure pacing about the opposite side of the dark room. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, hard eyes meeting empty ones.

"Am I dreaming?" Lily whispered, disoriented and close to fainting, "This can't be _real_."

"I've been asking myself that question all night." James spoke inertly from the corner, seemingly preoccupied with another activity, "I'm not quite sure if it would be defined as a dream or a nightmare."

"No… this isn't happening." Lily breathed hysterically, her eyes bloodshot as they scavenged the room, "I've got to get out of here, I've—"

Lily jumped to her feet, an unwise movement as her knees buckled and a wave of nausea crashed against her chest. Before she hit the carpeted floor, James caught her left forearm and steadied her, leading her back into bed. He could feel her quaking under his grasp, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing but terror. The palm of his hand burned under her touch.

"Why do you look at me like that, Lily?" James asked emotionlessly, his expression passive and distant as he watched for her reaction, "You are the ghost here, not I."

"I…I never thought I'd see you again." Lily gasped, closing her eyes as she was lowered back onto the double bed, "I wasn't suppose to see you, I—"

"You reappearance is as devastating to you as it is to me." James whispered sadly, his insides screaming as his anger and mind did the talking, "It would've been easier if you had never come back."

It was what Lily had dreaded since relinquishing to the Dark Lord.

James _hated_ her.

"James, I—" Lily started, her fever clouding her vision and focus.

"Sleep, Lily. I will deal with you when you are in a right state of mind." James said, a harshness in his voice as he backed away from the bed and headed for the door.

_Deal_ with me?

"And Lily," James called out one last time, deliberately pausing before his last statement, "try and leave, and I'll kill you."

He closed the bedroom door, the last sliver of light disappearing before the room delved into a deeper darkness. Lily cowered under the covers, his last words registering.

He didn't love her anymore.

* * *

Author's Notes

_Please review! ;)_

-pratty prongs princesse


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer**__: You know the drill, people! I don't own Harry Potter or the characters, setting, plot, etc, which of course is owned by the brilliant J.K. Rowling. However, the word sequencing is mine, so please, no plagiarism :) _

* * *

Chapter 3- Wickedness Must be Punished

My encounter with James—yet another disaster I can add to my generous supply. Since that fateful evening I chose to meet with the Dark Lord instead of attending my engagement party, my happiness has gradually unraveled like a ball of string.

I was so in love then, and sometimes those forgotten feelings return to torment me. They burden me more than living with some of the horrible acts I've committed, for they are a reminder of what I no longer have. That happiness doesn't belong to me anymore.

Now it belongs to Marlene McKinnon.

…some best friend she turned out to be.

_-Lily Evans _

* * *

James Potter sat on one of his rickety chairs near the fire, staring into the embers with astounding intensity. Lily was sleeping soundlessly in the bedroom, her forehead wet with sweat and skin ashen. He made sure she was sleeping before gathering his face in his hands and silently quaking, the sheer agony washing over him and leaving him breathless. He couldn't believe she was alive, and the fact that he was more _happy_ than angry to see her scared him to death.

James was angry with himself more than Lily. How could he _feel_ this way? Feel utterly relieved and jubilant to know she was still _alive_? He was a slave to his feelings for her, and it was terrifying. The power one woman had over him—the feelings that hadn't faded or even weakened three years later.

James didn't know what to do.

He'd put on an act for Lily; after all, she was a death eater (a concept he still couldn't quite grasp) and he didn't know what kind of deception she was capable of. He couldn't show weakness until he was sure of her true intentions.

Just then, a white owl with brown speckled feathers flew in from one of the apartment's ajar windows and deposited a letter before James' feet. James felt a cold chill blow in from the flapping window as he scooped the letter up, ripping it open.

It was from Sirius.

_Prongs, please tell me you're at home. _

_Owl me back—you've got the Order worried, and me too. If you get this you're a git, hear me?_

_Padfoot_

James scrunched up the letter and threw it into the orange fire, hopelessness bobbing in the back of his throat. He couldn't be in contact with the Order or Sirius until he'd figured out what to do with Lily. James knew he didn't have long—they'd be searching for him by morning.

James heard Lily stirring in his room and froze; what was his next move? He slinked into the kitchen and extracted a tea cup from the pantry, pouring brewed tea from the kettle into the china cup and depositing it on a saucer. He extracted another small bottle of colorless liquid from the cupboard and eyed it reluctantly.

It was his only assurance, he _had_ to use it.

Lily stepped out of James' room, her hair amiss and her emerald eyes sharp, despite her sickness. She remained motionless under the door frame, waiting for James to notice her and make his next move.

"You're awake." James commented, his eyes betraying worry for the first time that night, "Sit down, I've made you some tea."

"This place looks a mess." Lily whispered, looking at James inquisitively and without fear—she had decided to face him courageously, "Why have you let it get this decrepit?"

"I'm only here to sleep; I'm always at work." James replied curtly, trying to decipher her lighter, less feverish state, "Drink your tea."

Lily looked at James without suspicion and dropped into a chair by the fire, holding her head high, "I think this place needs a good clean."

Lily didn't know what to say to James or how to approach him. Their conversation was meaningless and distant, a calm before the storm of emotions.

"Suppose you're right." James replied flatly, waiting for her to take the first sip of her tea, "I'm…_busy_."

"Why don't you ask _Marlene_ to help you?" Lily offered innocently, bringing the cup to her lips, then, almost as abruptly, stopping, "What's wrong? Have I said something?"

"How do you know about Marlene?" James whispered incredulously, furrowing his brow and narrowing his eyes.

"As I recall, your engagement was all over the papers." Lily passively noted, looking away from James' forlorn face and focusing on the fire, "You know, Marlene has had a crush on you since our third year at Hogwarts. She'd always defend you when I'd go on my _I-hate-Potter_ tangents."

"I knew she liked me." James whispered, forgetting about the tea and focusing on the fire as well, "She told me in fifth year. It must've taken so much courage on her part. I think I might've broken her heart when I confessed to liking _you_."

Lily looked up from the fire and her eyes connected with James'—those familiar chocolate brown eyes that were always mischievously twinkling. They weren't the empty, fearsome ones that had met her only hours ago; she wondered what had brought about a change in them.

"I think it nearly broke her heart when I told her of our engagement." Lily softly added, a peculiar feeling erupting from within her chest, "Funny how these things come back to bite us."

"_Bite_ us? I hardly imagined that to be your reaction." James said bitterly, his eyes swimming with emotion best left disguised, "_You_ were the one who left, as I recall."

"James, I—" Lily started progressively, looking for the strength to form coherent sentences.

"Drink your tea." James interrupted, their conversation fuelling his burning desire for the truth.

Lily stood up from her chair and slowly removed her housecoat, revealing her spaghetti strap top and smooth shoulders. James went rigid, the slight gesture more tantalizing than Lily had anticipated. She took a seat on the floor in front of James, as opposed to her seat, the cup of tea in her hands.

"You want me to drink this?" Lily asked innocently, her emerald eyes probing.

"It will make you feel better." James quietly returned.

"If you want the truth, James, then _ask me_." Lily stood up, her eyes fiery as she picked herself up off the ground and threw the china cup against the wall, tea staining the wallpaper and porcelain plaguing the floor, "I'm not stupid, _James Potter_, so don't bother trying to trick me into drinking veritaserum."

"Do I want answers? _Fucking right_ I want answers!" James stood up, his temper flaring like Lily's, "And you're going to tell me everything, _do you hear me_?"

"You don't have to _drug me_ for answers!" Lily snapped, folding her arms resolutely.

"How do I know what you'll tell me is the truth?" James countered, the light from the fire reflecting on his glasses, "You're a _death eater_ now. _Excuse me_ for having trust issues."

"Yes, and I was also your _fiancée_, as I recall!" Lily bit the bottom of her lip, wishing she hadn't made such a statement.

"You're right. The woman I _loved_. Imagine my surprise when I find out she's not _only_ betrayed the Order of the Phoenix, but _me._" James spat, his pent-up feelings spilling out of his mouth like a waterfall.

"What do you want from me, James? An apology or answers?" Lily whispered, equally frustrated with the situation.

"I'm still trying to figure out where to begin with you." James sighed, running his fingers through his hair tiredly as he attempted to control his anger, "I don't know what I want from you anymore."

"Let me start at the very beginning, James." Lily whispered, her eyes burning with the realization she was about to confess _everything_, "It all started a week before the engagement party…"

James was rooted to his spot, yearning to know what really happened. He momentarily pushed his anger aside as intrigue replaced it.

"Every day for a week I received a letter in a black envelope, delivered by a horned owl I had never seen before. The letter stated the same thing every time it was sent and was never signed…but I knew who it was from. It said "they" had my parents and that on the night of our engagement party "they" were going to kill them. I knew "they" had to be the death eaters and that Voldermort was involved. The letter clearly stated that I was being watched and if I told anyone, never mind the Ministry, my parents would be killed.

I tried contacting my parents, but they weren't at home. They hadn't been at work for a week. I knew the death eaters weren't bluffing, so I kept quiet. The last letter I received was on the night of our party, and it told me to meet "them" in the park near my parents' home in Surrey. So I went... and I was ambushed by death eaters—"

"_Fuck_, _Evans_! Why didn't you give me a _sign_?" James interrupted, his face contorted in a mixture of anger and sadness, "_Merlin_, Lily, you shouldn't have gone _alone_! You could have been _killed_!"

"They had my parents—I had _no_ choice!" Lily cried back, her face mirroring James', "I couldn't leave them to die! I couldn't take the chance—not going and having their blood on _my_ hands!"

James sank back into his hair, burying his face in his hands, "What happened next?"

"I don't remember exactly what happened that night, it's blurry, but I was knocked out, and when I woke up, I was gagged and in a cell." Lily whispered, the memories shaking her up, "I was in that cell for days and days; I'd lost count by the time the Dark Lord finally confronted me."

"Did he have your parents?" James spoke softly, wincing at the emotion on Lily's face.

"No."

"But I thought—?"

"They'd released them after my capture, completely wiping their memories." Lily replied, her eyes becoming hollow, "They didn't kill them because my parents were still of use to them. They'd always be the Dark Lord's leverage over me. I was under Voldermort's control until they died a year ago."

"Why _you_, Lily? What did he want from _you_?" James whispered, almost dreading the answer, "We both know Voldermort despises muggleborns and half-bloods."

"He knew of my skill in Charms…he also liked the thought of causing pain to you." Lily murmured, tears welling up in her eyes, "After all those times you and I had thwarted him, along with the other Aurors, he wanted _revenge_. You saw the headlines, '_Celebrated Auror James Potter's fiancée, Lily Evans, missing: He- who- must- not- be- named suspected_'. He took great pleasure in it."

James' face became blank as he slumped in his chair, gathering his face in his hands again. Memories washed over him like a tsunami, leaving him disoriented and with a blistering headache. Lily had been gone three years because of _him_? The purist woman James had ever met was a _death eater_ because of him?

"_Lily_," James whispered, hiding his face in his hands—muscular shoulders slumped forward, "this is _my_ fault?"

"James Potter, don't you think like that!" Lily Evans snapped emotionally, dropping down onto her knees before James and gently easing his hands away from his face. He looked up at her dejectedly, almost ashamed, "This was my choice, and I knew it would be dangerous, but I've accepted my fate."

"It should be _our_ fate, Lily." James mumbled, brushing her cheek with the jut of his knuckles, wondering if she was real, "We'd be together now if it wasn't for _him_."

"We shouldn't dwell on the past." Lily soothed sadly, tears beginning to formulate in her eyes, "What's done is done and we can't change it."

"What do you mean, _we_ _can't change it_?" James rose from his seat, looking bewildered, "Everything will change now. You're back, safe with me again. I know the truth now."

"Don't you see, James?" Lily asked gently, turning her back to him and drifting near the open window, surveying the landscape, "Things will never be the same."

"Yes they will." James returned stubbornly, anger building in his masculine voice, "We belong together, Lily."

"You have Marlene now—"

"And you don't think I'd drop her in a _second_ for you?" James burst out in exasperation, walking towards the window and gently turning her to face him, "Tell me…_do you still love me?_"

Lily paused, feeling shivers travel up her arms and a queasy lurch in her stomach.

"I…"

James and Lily's attention immediately wavered, the handle on the front door of James' apartment squeakily turning counter clockwise. Whoever was behind the door was trying to inconspicuously make their way inside.

Without delay, James ushered Lily into the kitchen, inclining her to take out her wand. Their Auror instincts kicked in as they stealthily looked around the corner, preparing to confront whoever was trying to get inside.

"Sirius?" Lily softly suggested in James' ear, her body shielded behind his.

"When have you ever known Sirius to use a front door?" James whispered back, gripping his wand, ready to attack.

The door clicked open.

"_Merlin._"

James grabbed Lily's arm before she could apparate and pushed her into the kitchen pantry, locking himself inside with her. His hand was over her mouth, smothering her protests. Trapped against James' body, Lily could hear his heart beating rapidly.

"James?" Marlene McKinnon called out moderately, closing the apartment door behind her, "_James?_ Are you here?"

Marlene crept into the kitchen, her wand gripped firmly in her right hand. Lily heard her walk around the kitchen table, then stop. A shadowy figure obscured the light pouring into the pantry from the crevice between the door and the floor. Lily and James froze, both praying she didn't open the pantry and find them—the consequences would be devastating.

"_James?_" Marlene called out for a final time, a tinge of hopelessness in her voice.

Marlene left the kitchen, deciding to check the bedrooms and the living room. Five minutes later, Lily and James heard a chipper **pop** echo in the front hall, signaling her apparition.

"That was close." James whispered, removing his hand from over Lily's mouth, "I don't know why she was breaking in. I gave her a key."

"Isn't that romantic?" Lily snapped, jealousy surging in her veins (though she tried to mask it), "Now, if you'll let me out of this closet, I think I'll be on my way."

"You didn't answer my last question." James said seriously, unlocking the pantry and letting Lily stomp out.

"I don't thi-!" Lily started, her eyes widening in horror as she fell to the floor in a heap, ropes magically appearing and binding her legs, arms and mouth.

"What?" James asked in annoyance, brushing dust off his arms as he too exited the pantry, "Li…_Marlene?_"

Marlene stood over Lily, her wand pointed at Lily's squirming figure. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her cobalt-coloured eyes were disbelieving of the girl before her.

_It couldn't be!_

"James, please tell me this isn't—it's not possible, I-I— _Lily Evans_?" Marlene whimpered, staring down at the redhead, who did not regard her with as much fascination, "James, what are you doing with…_her?_"

"Marlene, I'm sorry." James frowned deeply, his features dark as he un-pocketed his wand and pointing it at the unsuspecting, vulnerable girl, "_Obliviate_!**" **

Marlene's eyes rolled to the back of her head, causing her to lose her balance and fall into James' arms. He swiftly carried her into his bedroom, where he laid her to sleep on his bed. James re-entered the kitchen—Lily still attempting to free herself—and loosened her bonds. James looked distressed as he removed the piece of rope preventing Lily from talking.

"I thought she apparated!" Lily yelped, stumbling to her feet with James' assistance.

"I underestimated her. I do that often." James mumbled, frustrated with himself, "I really don't think I deserve her."

"Why would you say that?" Lily whispered, folding her arms and sadly looking away from James.

Maybe he really _does_ love her…

"Since you disappeared…I don't know. I'm short with her, I've no patience…I'm hardly a supportive fiancé." James divulged, crossing his arms tiredly, "I'm just unfair to her. I resent her for not being _you_, and I know it's horrible, but I can't—"

"Then why did you propose?" Lily whispered, fatigue clouding her emerald moons.

"_Three years_, Lily…I've been alone a long time." James murmured, his genuine eyes engaging Lily's, "But now that you've returned, we can get _our_ lives back."

Lily turned her back to James, the words prickling the back of her neck like icicles. James didn't understand…things could never be what they were—she'd dug herself a deep grave and now she'd have to lie in it. How could people, like Dumbledore, accept her after all the cruel acts she'd committed for Voldermort? She could barely accept herself…

Voldermort would kill her if she betrayed him.

"I've got to go, James. The Dark Lord will be furious with my absence…" Lily began, taking a deep breath and making her decision, "I don't know how I'm going to explain myself out of this one, but—"

James whirled around, his face contorted in horrified incredulity, and swiftly pinned Lily against the wall. Lily yelped in outrage, feeling meek beneath his muscled body. She stiffened stubbornly, ready to fight him off.

"You can't be serious." James hissed, his chocolate eyes swimming with desperation, "Please tell me you're not going back."

"He'll kill me, James." Lily whispered, her voice faltering a little, "You don't know what he's like…I'll be dead by morning."

"I'll protect you." James breathed seriously, his mannerisms oozing masculinity, "We'll go to the Order, Dumbledore—"

"They'll think I'm a spy, James." Lily returned, tears welling in her eyes at the thought of the Order's disgust, "I'm a traitor. I deserve to be in _Azkaban_!"

"Don't talk like that!" James demanded, working himself into a frenzy as he stared down at Lily, grief settling in his stomach, "I won't lose you again!"

"I'm putting you in danger by being here." Lily suddenly protested, drying her tears and resolutely escaping James' grasp, "Tell no one we've been in contact, forget I'm alive—"

Lily crossed the room, James following in her wake, and readied herself for apparating. It was too painful being with James…the longer she was there the more enticed she'd be to take up James' offer of happiness. A silence rang out in the room

"I know you're alive now, Lily." James whispered, making no inclination to stop her, "Go now, but know I'll stop at nothing to bring you back to me."

"Don't say that." Lily spoke, her eyes pleading and her tone barely audible, "I am a danger to you. All that I love will die if I don't try to forget. I don't want to watch you die, James—"

"Lily, _please_—"

"_No!_ This is my _life_ now." Lily emotionally interrupted her façade deceiving as it remained cold, "Just…forget."

James reached out to touch Lily's shoulder as she turned, but she was gone. James felt sick at the thought of her being in the presence of Voldermort, at the thought of her being punished for being gone so long.

He was going to save her this time.

"This is _not_ goodbye." James announced in anguish, grief-stricken as he sunk into a high-backed chair by the fire and let averse sobs rack his body.

* * *

Lily collapsed in front of a door connected to a house nestled in a tiny alley. Tears streamed from the corners of her eyes and she could barely inhale the grimy fog that hung in the air. She couldn't think straight, never mind fathom how she was going to face Voldermort. Fear and misery wrapped around her body like a wet blanket, and she couldn't muster the strength to knock on the door.

But she didn't have to.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." Snape opened to door mere seconds later, coolly regarding Lily as he helped her to her feet and ushered her into his dimly-lit townhouse.

Snape set Lily down on one of his mouth-bitten couches and conjured up a glass of warm brandy from his liquor cabinet. Pushing the glass into Lily's shaky hands, he provoked her to drink, trying to sooth her shot nerves. He watched, with mild interest, as she pathetically tried to choke back her tears and fetched a thin blanket to warm her shoulders.

"Severus, I-I-I,"

"You've had an encounter with _Potter_?" Snape spoke softly, his voice menacing when he spat the messy-haired boy's name, "Has he harmed you?"

"He would never, he—"

"Has he told anyone you're alive?"

"No, I-I think he will keep quiet, I don't—"

"Then we have nothing to worry about yet." Snape cut in, his eyes intense and black, "Did anyone else see you?"

"Marlene," Lily whispered fearfully, beginning to regain her composure as she drowned her glass, "but James wiped her memory."

"Then let us be thankful Potter still foolishly loves you." Snape interjected, showing Lily no sympathy where James was involved—he had a feeling the topic would one day be breached, "We will tell the Dark Lord you've had a run-in with McKinnon and that you wiped her memory."

"Do you think he'll sense I'm lying?" Lily worriedly inquired, unsure of her ability to lie.

"For your sake, I hope not." Snape frowned, though his mouth was usually curved in an unnatural snarl, "We've practiced Occlumency; now would be an opportune time to use such a skill."

"Severus, I'm scared." Lily disclosed, her bottle-green eyes revealing her trepidation, "If it weren't for you, I'd—"

"Quickly, you must seek out the Dark Lord." Snape interrupted, always ready to reject Lily's attempts at affection and gratitude—he couldn't let her _weaken_ him, "As the hours dwindle so does your story. Dry your tears."

"Alright." Lily whispered, dreading her next move, "I…thank you."

"Go, quickly." Snape nodded, his eyes betraying more than his actions and words.

Lily exited Snape's house and apparated out of Spinner's End, ready to face Voldermort at the death eater headquarters.

Snape promptly downed his brandy and watched Lily disappear out of his blotchy window.

He hated her for still loving James Potter.

* * *

Author's Notes

_Thanks for reading & reviewing! Please continue!_

-pratty prongs princesse


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer**__: You know the drill, people! I don't own Harry Potter or the characters, setting, plot, etc, which of course is owned by the brilliant J.K. Rowling. However, the word sequencing is mine, so please, no plagiarism:)_

* * *

Chapter 4- The Good Man Scorns the Wicked

_Goodness knows_, the wickeds' lives are lonely.

Seeing James again...it opened my eyes—it opened my eyes to how powerless I am. It resurrected my yearning for freedom and stability, and it reminded me how lonely I am. I have no one—save Severus—to depend on, to talk to, or to enjoy life with. Even then, Severus isn't a big talker.

Wouldn't you agree we take our lives for granted? Look what I had; a fiancé, a group of close friends, my parents and stupid sister, and even a career as an Auror lined up. Ironic, isn't it? Now alone, no friends, my parents are dead, and I am the personification of wickedness.

The life of a death eater isn't easy, you know.

-Lily Evans

* * *

The sky outside was clear, a few clouds dusting the landscape that morning. James Potter often wondered how it was possible the Ministry of Magic, located underground, had windows. He was restlessly leaning back in his office chair, his tie askew and his dress-shirt wrinkled, drowning out the sound of his best friend, Sirius Black, chatting away to him.

"Would you look at that? You've made the front page." Sirius Black commented lightly, throwing the Daily Prophet at James, who was intensely staring out the magical window in his office, "I'm going to start counting, you know."

James didn't answer, anxiously running his fingers through his hair.

"Oi, Prongs? Did the deatheaters addle your brains last night? Hello?" Sirius stood up and crossed the room, unkindly slapping James on the back of the head.

"What's your problem?" James barked, snapping back to reality and regarding Sirius, "I had a long night...cut a wizard a break, would you?"

"You've been off in muggleland since you got back to headquarters last night." Sirius continued, taking a seat again and staring hard at James, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Of course not." James replied shortly, massaging the back of his head, "I told you: I awoke in the forest hours after the encounter in the field. That... deatheater blindsided and disarmed me before I could take her to the Ministry."

"I still don't understand how your dear fiancée didn't see you." Sirius grumbled bitterly, earning a frown from James, "Nor do I understand how she ended up unconscious in your apartment."

"I don't either, so stop bringing it up." James replied curtly, feeling strangely uncomfortable discussing Marlene, "What do you have against Marlene, anyway? You've never seemed fond of her, and I'm sure she's noticed."

Sirius looked up at his friend uncertainly, almost hesitant to answer, "She's no Lily Evans."

James felt a knot in his stomach tighten at the mention of Lily: He couldn't stop thinking about her, wondering if she'd received the wrath of Voldermort or if she was hurt. He must've devised hundreds of faulty ways to recover her from the Dark Lord; the thought of her alive and a deatheater had been driving him mad all morning...

"I know, Padfoot." was all James said, taking him off guard; Sirius had expected him to defend Marlene.

"But listen, mate, I know you love her—" Sirius began uneasily.

"I don't want to talk about it, Sirius." James abruptly cut him off, inwardly reprimanding himself for sounding angry, "Look, I've got lots of paperwork to finish and—"

"Hello, boys!" Marlene McKinnon chirped happily, suddenly popping her head into James' office with a dazzling smile upon her face, "Glad you're both here; I've the date of our next Order meeting."

"Why don't you just announce it to the whole Ministry?" James demanded in angry disbelief, glaring at his betrothed as he got up and shut the door behind her, "The Order is a secret, try and keep it that way, would you?"

"Sorry James..." Marlene murmured in befuddlement, taken aback by James' uncharacteristic fury, "I didn't mean...anyway...tonight, 6:00 o'clock, basement of Hogshead. It concerns our next assignments."

Marlene stood at the doorway, unmoving; she seemed to be expecting something.

"Anything else?" James asked unkindly: He was still resentful that Marlene's intrusion into his apartment was the reason for Lily's quick departure the night before, "I don't exactly have time to stare at you all day."

"Well...I just thought I'd suggest we have drinks tonight—"

"Out of the question. I have too much work, plus this Order meeting." James explained quickly, oblivious to Marlene's crestfallen expression, "See you later, alright?"

Without another word, Marlene stormed out of James' office, hurt and anger apparent on her face. Sirius watched in silent awe as the situation unfolded, turning to his friend incredulously, "Wake up on the wrong side of the broomstick this morning?"

"I just don't have time." James insisted, frustration welling in his stomach as Lily continued to dominate his thoughts, "I...I need some time to think, Sirius. I'll see you at the meeting tonight, alright?"

"See you at the meeting." Sirius nodded emotionlessly, turning to leave, than stopping at the door, looking severe, "Look Potter, I've known you since you were eleven. I know when something is bothering you. I'm not stupid."

James sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration, looking submissively up at his friend, "I'm fine, Sirius."

Sirius exited James' office without another word, leaving him with his thoughts about his lost love.

He wasn't fine. Not even close.

* * *

A fowl stench wafted about the stone-walled, windowless room Severus Snape inhabited. It was lit by a few cheap candles dribbling wax and contained shelf upon shelf of dusty bottles and old instruments. In the middle of the rectangular room was a shabby table constructed of chopping block, a simmering pewter cauldron atop it. There Snape sat in the dark, carefully fingering through ancient looking scripts whilst stirring the potion he was meticulously working on.

He could barely concentrate, his thoughts awry. His flawless hands were clammy from grasping his stirring spoon too tightly and—to his annoyance—his black hair fell over his eyes, giving him a fatigued appearance. Snape dropped his spoon and ran a spidery hand through his unmanageable hair, sweat beading on his forehead.

Suddenly, the door cracked open, light spilling in, and a hooded figure entered and disappeared behind a bookshelf. Snape immediately rose from his seat, his keen black eyes critically sweeping over the room. He did not raise his wand in defense; instead, with the flick of his wrist the door was shut and sealed, submersing the room back into gloom.

"What is that you're making?" Lily Evans appeared stealthily behind Snape—her hood down—and approached the table, "Looks to me like bruise-removal paste. What do you need that for?"

"He has not harmed you?" Snape asked sceptically, more emotion than usual permeating in his voice as he grabbed Lily's wrists and pulled back the sleeves of her cloak, revealing unmarked skin—save her dark mark, "What happened? You never returned to Spinner's End."

Lily looked troubled as she dropped into Snape's chair and grabbed the ladle on the table, idly twirling it between her fingers, "It was just me and the Dark Lord in the room...not even Lucius was permitted to be there while he questioned me."

Snape dropped to his knees and turned the chair toward him, boring into Lily's emerald eyes, "Just the two of you? Did you stick to the story? Did you practice Occlumency?"

"Yes...I did everything." Lily said, her mouth twitching into a frown and her eyes beginning to well up, "It was strange...he seemed to believe what I was telling him right from the start. He was in an unnaturally good mood...very pleased that I had returned and not been captured."

"Did he ask you many questions?" Snape continued to probe, an uneasiness settling in his stomach.

"Just what had happened...if I recognized any Aurors." Lily whispered, her gaze dropping to the ground, "I said I'd been knocked unconscious in the forest and when I'd awoken I'd apparated back to headquarters. Mentioned I saw Marlene McKinnon and that it had been her who had cursed me."

"I see..." Snape whispered, pausing for a moment to cross the room and extract an ingredient from one of the many shelves, "His reaction unsettles me. As you are aware, he punishes death eaters for the smallest of mistakes. That he has spared you...it makes me very suspicious. He is never so lenient."

"You wanted him to hurt me?" Lily voiced sceptically, her emerald eyes questioning as they matched Snape's black, indistinguishable ones.

"No. However, it is what I expected." Snape said slowly, motioning his head toward the bruise-removal potion he had busied himself brewing, "Why did you not return to tell me this last night?"

"The Dark Lord requested I stay at headquarters. Apparently I will be assisting in a new operation that will be designed this afternoon: I dread finding out what this mission will be." Lily sighed, folding her arms on the table and resting her head atop it, "I hope I won't be working with Bellatrix or Rodolphus."

Snape rose to his feet, his passive face suddenly mangled in quiet apprehension, "Are you certain he intends you to go on this mission?"

Lily looked taken aback by Snape's anxious reaction, "Yes, it's what he said. What do you know of it?"

Snape scowled and turned away from the concerned girl, trying to hide the mixture of worry and antagonism plaguing his face. He knew the Dark Lord had plans for Lily, but he could not ascertain what they were. Snape feared Lily's mistake the previous night would be her undoing...

"The Dark Lord has been planning to infiltrate the Department of Mysteries for months. There is something there he wants, though I know not what it is. He intends to go himself, along with Malfoy, Rockwood and Crouch." Snape whispered dangerously, knowing he could suffer greatly for telling Lily top secret information, "I don't know what purpose you will serve. You were not originally intended to go."

Lily's heart caught in her throat, her eyes widening in horror, "The Dark Lord himself is going? And Malfoy...Rockwood...they are some of his highest ranking death eaters. Why would he not ask you to go, rather than me?"

"The Dark Lord does not require my talents." Snape replied curtly, stiffening as Lily distractedly paced past him and accidentally brushed up against his hand, "He...he likely needs your charm-work."

Snape carefully watched Lily—whose face suddenly became transparent with resentment—swiftly cross the room and head for the door. Before she opened it, she looked over her shoulder at Snape, her eyes raw with guilt and pain, "I wish he'd killed me today."

Snape stared back at her, unblinking. When she closed the door, he angrily pushed all the contents of the table to the floor, rage coursing through his veins.

After three years, Lily had just begun to except her fate—just started to emerge from her protective shell. Snape could see the school girl he had observed from afar awakening again; yet now, she was slipping back into the self-loathing, broken women she had been when she was first forced to become a deatheater—the cold, emotionless girl that wanted death over power.

Snape slammed his fist against the table, his eyes ablaze. He knew exactly whose fault it was.

James Fucking Potter.

* * *

Author's Notes

_Thanks for reading & reviewing! Please continue to do so!_

-pratty prongs princesse


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